Continuing her mission as a newly empowered feminist icon this side of Beyonce, pop star Taylor Swift released a new music video on Thursday for her song “The Man” in which she imagines a world where she could be a narcissistic playboy businessman who freely indulges in the ungodly sin of manspreading on the subway without any consequence whatsoever.
In the four-minute video, Taylor Swift (thanks to some uncanny makeup effects) transforms into a successful businessman who sleeps with hot women without consequence, yells at subordinates while taking phone calls on his yacht, and even urinates on a subway station wall. At one point, Taylor Swift’s man throws a temper-tantrum on the tennis court, echoing the cries of double-standard misogyny that feminists elicited when Serena Williams raged at a referee for censuring her. Throughout all this so-on-the-nose-it-borderlines-on-self-parody imagery, Taylor Swift sings about the alleged blissful life she would experience if she were “The Man.” Lyrics below:
I would be complex
I would be cool
They’d say I played the field before
I found someone to commit to
And that would be okay
For me to do
Every conquest I had made
Would make me more of a boss to you
I’d be a fearless leader
I’d be an alpha type
When everyone believes ya
What’s that like?
I’m so sick of running
As fast as I can
Wondering if I’d get there quicker
If I was a man
And I’m so sick of them
Coming at me again
‘Cause if I was a man
Then I’d be the man
I’d be the man
I’d be the man
They’d say I hustled
Put in the work
They wouldn’t shake their heads
And question how much of this I deserve
What I was wearing, if I was rude
Could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves
And we would toast to me, oh, let the players play
I’d be just like Leo, in Saint-Tropez
I’m so sick of running
As fast as I can
Wondering if I’d get there quicker
If I was a man
And I’m so sick of them
Coming at me again
‘Cause if I was a man
Then I’d be the man
I’d be the man
I’d be the man
What’s it like to brag about raking in dollars
And getting bitches and models?
And it’s all good if you’re bad
And it’s okay if you’re mad
If I was out flashin’ my dollas
I’d be a bitch, not a baller
They’d paint me out to be bad
So it’s okay that I’m mad
I’m so sick of running
As fast as I can (as fast as I can)
Wondering if I’d get there quicker
If I was a man (hey!)
And I’m so sick of them
Coming at me again (coming at me again!)
‘Cause if I was a man (if I was man)
Then I’d be the man
I’d be the man
I’d be the man (oh)
I’d be the man (yeah)
I’d be the man (I’d be the man)
The released music video comes shortly after the arrival of Taylor Swift’s Netflix documentary, which chronicles her rise from being a simple pop star to an ultra-woke Democratic Party activist that supports abortion and denounces Republicans as homophobes.